NOT Frank Burns
by Sir Hawkeye Who
Summary: Set a couple of days after The Life You Save. Charles proving he does care about someone other than himself. I like both Frank and Charles so this isn't an anti frank fic. Hope I've done Charles justice.
1. Chapter 1

This is about Charles showing his worth. I hope I've done him some justice. The italic stuff is a voice in Charles' head. Spoilers for the life you save. Tim is his brother.

* * *

NOT Frank Burns

Charles Emerson Winchester the Third sat at the bar of the Officer's Club in Seoul, nursing his final cognac before departing back to his humble cesspool known as the 4077th M*A*S*H in Uijongbu. He had received a three day pass from his CO, Colonel Sherman Potter after returning from his mission on finding out about death at Battalion Aide a few nights ago.

_Potter thinks you've gone mad. _

"Rest In Peace, Tim," the Major sighed into his glass before draining the contents and setting it down on the bar.

The door of the OC opened and a lanky young Corporal who could've been no more than eighteen stepped through it and was about to call for Charles when a drunken one star General burst boorishly in behind him.

"Outta my way, pee wee!" hiccoughed the tank-like figure to the stunned Corporal who by now was shrinking like a violet.

"I'm, s- s- sorry, General," answered the boy, his voice quaking along with his body.

Before the General had time to answer Charles stepped over towards the boy in an attempt to guide him away from his assaulter.

"Let us be on our way, Corporal" ushered Charles turning towards the door.

"Wait, porky. Let the boy fight his battles." slurred the General grabbing him by the shoulder so he could see who had disrupted his fun.

_Oh god. It's him. _

"Huh. Well I'll be damned, Chuck Winchester the Third!" scoffed the aggressor heartily.

"Ha, Colonel.. General, rather Penobscott. How the devil are you?" Charles smiled in return while inside his head he felt his brain melting already.

"Great, thanks. I think you can help me."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Look, I'm going back to 4077th, ok?"

"Mmm hmm"

_This is going to end badly._

"And if you could help me.."

"Yes?"

_Wait for it, Major._

"Get Margaret back."

_Do it Charles!_

Charles didn't know how he mustered the strength and he didn't care why all he knew was he won't stand idly by as this brute would try and hurt his dear friend.

He stood over Penobscott his fist still clenched, blood dripping down his knuckles and the fallen monster's nose.

"If YOU step own toe inside the 4077th I will not be held responsible for my actions. You've hurt Margaret enough. Now if you don't mind, General I will be on my way," Hate was spat out with every word he uttered.

The corporal followed him outside towards the jeep like a lamb. As they sped off to Uijongbu Charles ignored his bleeding hand allowing the blood to dry as a reminder than he could be altruistic sometimes.

* * *

Next chapter Potter puts him in charge while he goes to Battalion Aide and for once he underestimates Chales.


	2. Chapter 2

well here's the next chapter. Charles worries a couple of people in this one. I hope the Snoopy reference isn't too cheesy.

* * *

"Alright, Winchester you've had time to recuperate after your… little adventure but now I expect nothing less than one hundred percent from you, got it?" Colonel Potter welcomed his second in command back home wasting no time at all.

"I offer nothing less, Colonel," Charles would normally have been thinking of quips to answer his CO back with but the past week had sapped his strength and he just couldn't bare to fight with the people he actually in a way, liked.

"Good. I've been called to Battalion Aide to help out while they wait for their new cutter to arrive. So you, Prince Pompous are in charge. And I don't wanna hear any gripes from anyone that you've been acting like a jackass. I don't expect anything from you, don't give me less than nothing this time, Winchester. That clear?!" growled Potter glaring profusely.

"Crystal, sir. Utterly transparent." What was wrong with him? He couldn't even muster a sarcastic tone! "How long will you be gone?"

"Two days. Three tops."

"Fine. Well, if I may be excused, Colonel. I'd like to change back into my fatigues," Charles was quite surprised with how calm his tone was.

"Alright, Winchester. I'll be gone in a few minutes. Klinger's driving me there. I want the place to still in one piece when I get back." Potter nodded as Charles headed for the door.

"Look after yourself, Colonel. I hope I don't let you down, sir."

Charles' parting words left the cavalry man confused.

"He hopes? What ever happened to his arrogance?"

* * *

Stepping across the compound Charles made his way to his bunk hoping he wouldn't draw attention to himself. Passing Margaret's tent his blue eyes suddenly grew darker and he sighed inwardly as he knew Penobscott would want to come here all the more now that Charles had bait the snare.

"Sorry, Margaret," he managed before entering the Swamp.

He forced his annoyance into the back of his mind as he noticed that Hawkeye and BJ were waiting for him.

"Hey, Chuckles," grinned BJ as lifted his head up from a letter from his daughter, Erin.

"Why Charles, you're not drunk. What happen, you forgot your money?" Hawkeye guffawed, springing up from his bunk.

"Gentlemen." Charles regarded them both with a slight nod of the head before grabbing his fatigues from his foot locker.

"So, Charles did ya have fun?" BJ queried swinging his legs, imitating a small child.

"Sorry to inform you, Gentlemen but I'm afraid that Colonel Potter is leaving for Battalion Aide for a few days and has unfortunately left me in charge," Charles informed his room mates, ignoring BJ's question.

He immediately was aware of the despairing faces of Pierce and Hunnicutt who were genuinely upset by the news.

"I best start my paper work, then. Good day, Pierce and Hunnicutt," Charles straightened the collar of his shirt and stepped back out into the dim light off the afternoon.

"Hang on, did Charles just apologise to us.. In advance?"

* * *

Opening the door to Colonel Potter's Office, Charles was met with face of the one person he hoped he would not see today. Margaret.

"Major," he regarded her as he had the Swamp rats.

"Don't you, "Major" me buster. You aren't going to run this place like you did last time and have Klinger be your little errand boy," she growled ferociously at him.

"The thought, had not crossed my mind, Margaret. I intend to do paper work for the most of these few days and if I'm needed for anything otherwise I shall comply." He refused to meet her gaze as he sat behind Sherman Potter's desk.

"Alright, but if I have any nonsense from you after that stunt you pulled getting Rizzo to strip the motor pool down into little pieces, again, I'll be taking over and you'll be confined to your tent, Major. That clear?!" she barked placing her hands on the Colonel's desk to stare him square in the eyes.

"Unequivocally so, Margaret," Charles replied dropping his eyes from her to the forms Klinger had thrown together and strewn before him.

"Right. Well, I'll be back in an hour for you to sign the duty roster."

"No problem, Major I shan't have moved in that time."

"Charles?" she seemed quite concerned.

"Yes, Margaret?" he lifted his head but he still could not look at her.

"Are you sure you're ok?"

"Me, Major? I haven't a care in the world."

Margaret left the office before realising that those were the exact words he said to her the night before he went to Battalion Aide.

* * *

"Max, could you come here for a moment?" Charles beckoned the Lebanese Corporal from his office.

"How may I serve you, O Pretentious one?" Klinger responded as he entered the Office, bowing to his superior.

"I have a favour to ask of you, Max. Could you phone your dear friend, um you know the fellow who answers the phone down at I Core.."

"Who you mean Snoopy?"

"Yes.. Isn't that Sparky?"

"No, Sparky is just the operator, Major. Snoop is the Clerk at I Core," explained Klinger flashing his bright teeth.

"Isn't that the name of a cartoon dog?" Charles appeared a little bewildered.

"Yeah, he's a sucker for those comics that's why we call him Snoopy. After Radar left I found a note and a parcel in one of his drawers. In the note Radar told me all about Snoop and his comic fetish so I could get important supplies from I Core. I still got a couple left in case of an emergency."

"Well, Klinger your friend.. Snoopy may be receiving those last few comics. Could you have him check if we're dew any visitors in the next few days?" Charles requested

"You're not ordering me to do it?" Klinger raised an eyebrow suspiciously.

"No, because I know you'd be kind enough to answer my request, Max."

Klinger read the Major's face but could not find no hidden malice there in his statement.

"What's this all about, Major?"

"It will all become clear, soon enough. Just do this for me first, Klinger, please. It is imperative you don't let anyone in the camp find out about this."

Klinger nodded in agreement and backed out into his own office.

"Oh boy, something's up, the Major said "Please" to me."

Picking up the receiver of the phone he heard a familiar voice.

"Hey, Sparky could ya be a pal and get Snoopy at I Core on the phone?"

* * *

Next chapter Charles gets Klinger to help him with an important favour.


	3. Chapter 3

Ok finally I got this next chapter up, phew. Hope you guys think it's ok. Father Mulcahy does get a mention, finally though it be brief.

* * *

***

"So why do I need my rifle for, Major?" Klinger asked quizzically leaning against the filing cabinet at the opposite end of the CO's office.

"Because under no circumstances are you and I letting Penobscott into the 4077th," Charles leaned forward drumming his fingers purposefully on the wooden desk.

"Why does he wanna try and get Major Houlihan back? Shouldn't we tell her? Bet she'd like to kick his butt too," Klinger grinned at the thought.

Charles did not find it so pleasant a thought "No, Klinger the Major can't know."

"But why.." Klinger began

"It's just best she doesn't, Max. It's just for the best."

"If we tell the MPs they oughtta keep him out," he suggested earnestly.

"He's a General, Klinger he would be able to get himself let off. He may even turn the MPs on us."

"Good point. So what do we do then?" Klinger was perplexed but anxious to help keep Penobscott from hurting Major Houlihan again. "Last time he made her angry she gave me and Radar hell for a week!"

"Well, Max we are going to need someone to be a spy at one of the checkpoints, so that we'll be informed of his arrival," Charles clarified

"There's only a couple fo checkpoints from here to Seoul so we could make a fake one. Sparky and Snoopy know a couple of guys from the other M*A*S*H's, well I know them too.. I kinda owe them some money after I lost in a Poker game against them but I got a few things their outfits might need and if it'll stop Major Houlihan from calling be Corporal Jerkface from Crumland, Ohio again then I'm all for it!"

***

Charles leaned back in CO's chair as he thumbed through the duty roster for the umpteenth time.

_**08:00 -16:00 - Captain Hunnicutt and Lieutenant Baker**_

_**16:00 - 00:00 - Captain Pierce and Lieutenant Kellye**_

_**00:00 - 08:00 - Major Winchester and Major Houlihan**_

_Houlihan thinks you've gone mad too, she'll be watching you like a hawk. As a matter of fact they all think you're mad. But since when would you start to care what they think. You're a Winchester don't forget so keep your upper lip stiff!_

His state of deep thought was disturbed by Hawkeye waltzing in through the doors with a mischievous look on his face.

"What can I do you for, Pierce," Charles raised his eyes from the paper he was holding to direct his fellow Swamp rat.

"Hey, Charles ole' buddy.."

"What is the favour you want, Pierce?"

"Uhh well, it's my Dad's birthday next month and I hoped you'd take my shift for me so I could go to Seoul and get him a present. I swear this has nothing to do with a girl. I promise you. You know how mail is..

"Fine, Pierce you may go."

".. and everything I just want it to.. What did you say, Charles?"

"You may go, Pierce. I'll take your shift."

"Really?" Hawkeye seemed specious . "What do you want out of it, Winchester?"

"Nothing. Your father is important to you, that is obvious. You know you have to take a double shift the day after, don't you ?" Charles rose from behind the desk and walked into Klinger's office to try and file the duty roster.

"Well ..yeah but I know you Charles, you want something out of this,"

"Just that you take my shift the day after. That seems only fair. I give you my word, Pierce as a Winchester that is all that I want from you."

Charles looked him square in the eyes.

"Right, ok thanks, Charles."

With that Hawkeye stepped back into Post Op without another word still a bit sceptical of Charles' intentions.

***

Midnight had rolled around and Charles pushed the door of Post Op open just in time to see Kellye and Hawkeye approach him.

"Pierce. Lieutenant," he regarded them both .

Hawkeye didn't answer but as he reached the door Charles noticed him nod to Margaret before stepping out into the crisp night air.

_I bet they've been discussing whether or not to get that Major Freedman down her to examine you. _

"Anything to report, Major?" he enqueried avoiding her gaze.

"Nothing other than Corporal Davis needed an extra unit of blood," she handed him the clipboard, analysing his face.

"The Haemophiliac?"

"Yep, Colonel Potter's patient."

"I thought haemophiliacs are prevented from joining the Army," he raised his head to glance at the young blonde haired boy lying dorment at the end of the room.

"He neglected to tell them that when he joined up,"

"I'm guessing this was the first time he was wounded?"

"Yeah, we're shipping him home the day the Colonel gets back if there's no more complications,"

"That boy has a terrible burden to bear."

***

It was about three in the morning and Charles was sat at the end of the ward, next to the blonde soldier reading _Great Expectations _by Charles Dickins. From the corner of his eye he noticed Margaret every now and then glancing up from her work to his general direction.

_What did I tell you? Just like a Hawk. _

"Major there is no need to keep checking on me. I'm not going to rip the tubes out of the patients and try to slit your throat while singing _La Traviata_," he disturbed the silence without raising his head. He said it so offhandedly it was as if he was talking about the weather.

Margaret was about to answer when the familiar voice of Private Joseph Shaw came over the PA.

"_Attention! Attention! Roll out the welcome mat, folks. We're back in business! Hope you like our welcome home present, Major Winchester!"_

With that Klinger and Father Mulcahy came rushing through Post Op.

Mulcahy and Margaret exited immediately.

"It's all settled, Major. I'll stay outside and help with triage so I can hear the phone and I'll call when I get word," Klinger explained.

"Thank you, Max," Charles shook the Corporal's hand gratefully before they both trooped out to meet their guests.

* * *

Next chapter: Klinger and Charles vs Penobscott.


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry I took so long. This chapter took dman ages to put together. Hope it's ok.

* * *

It was another deluge for the 4077th. Swarms of bleeding soldiers were put in front of the the three surgeons. Hawkeye was at the first table nearest the door to Pre Op with Lieutenant Gauge working on a haemothorax, BJ next to him with Lieutenant Kellye removing shrapnel from the stomach of a young North Korean solider and Charles at the end of the room once again under the watchful eye of Major Houlihan was preventing an aneurysm in the aorta of a French solider.

"Suture," Charles called out to Margaret.

"Suture," she replied handing him the instrument he'd asked for."Major?" she pestered Charles

"Yes, Major," he responded, his full concentration still on his patient.

"May I talk with you after surgery?" she enqueried the tone of her typical annoyance towards him in her voice.

"Of course, Major. 5 o silk," he contined with operation as if she hadn't spoke.

Hawkeye raised his head from his patient to look at Margaret and shook his head.

_Bet they've already called Freedman. _

***

Charles had started to close the patient when Klinger came rushing in.

"Major, you're needed on the phone. Colonel Potter's calling from Battalion Aide."

The verocity with which Klinger had reached Charles' table he nearly knocked the instruments over as he slid across the floor.

"Would you close for me, Marjor?" Charles asked holding out the 3 o silk and needle to Margaret.

"Of Course, Doctor," she answered firmly but she hesitated just for a moment before taking the needle.

"Give the Colonel our best, Charles," BJ called out as Charles followed Klinger out of OR.

The rest of the staff concurred.

"Yeah and tell him to 86 Battalion Aide as soon as he can so we can have a _genuine _leader again," Hawkeye quipped taking his gloves off.

He and BJ chuckled a little.

"Pierce." Margaret drew his attention. "That was too far."

"Hey, come on, Margaret. Charles knows I was only joking." he replied defensively.

As Kellye put fresh gloves onto his hands he leaned over to BJ and queried "He knew I was joking, right?"

***

"What time is it, Klinger?" enquired Charles as they galloped off towards their destination in one of the camp's jeeps.

"About fourteen hundred hours, Major."

"Pierce and Hunnicutt only have three patients left, thankfully. I shan't be missed." He gazed absently at the mountains where the choppers bearing wounded normally came from.

"Speaking of Hawkeye and BJ, why didn't you…" began Klinger who momentarily looked towards Charles before returning his eyes to the road.

"How far away is the "check point", Klinger?" Charles blantently ignored Klinger's question.

"Just around the corner, Major."

True to his word, around the corner there was a rather miffed Penobscott being kept there by two "MPs".

"Thank you, gentlemen. Corporal Klinger and I will take things from here," Charles announced stepping out of the jeep towards his waiting foe.

"Well, well, Chuck so you're behind this. It's so nice to see ya again although I'm not very happy with the present you gave me last time we met," sarcastically remarked Penobscott indicating his nose.

"Wow, Major _you _did that, to _him_?!" Klinger asked completely flabbergast.

"For once Klinger doesn't have to worry about having the largest nose in Korea, ever so kind of you, Penobscott." jibed Charles, his eyes fixed and stern on his quarry.

"Alright, Winchester I'll give you one last chance. I'll send you back to Tokyo General if you help me get Margaret back," offered the General dropping his eyes downwards as if he was momentarily conceding defeat.

"HOW DARE YOU?!" Charles bellowed growing to his full height and throwing out his chest " You think I would stand idly by while you hurt Margaret again just so I could go back to Tokyo and beat Colonel Baldwin at cribbage?!"

"Ok, you've had your chance, you Son Of a Bitch."

Penobscott's right fist was about to come in contact with Charles' stomach when Klinger pressed the barrel of his rifle to the clenched fist.

"I suggest you put your hand down unless you want it out of action, sir," he growled through clenched teeth.

Before dropping his fist he smirked and lifted his revolver to Charles' head.

"I suggest _you_ put your gun away before Charlie boy here is put out of commission."

With that he cocked the gun menace in his eyes.

"It's alright, Klinger I'll take care of it," Charles reassured the Lebanese Corporal. If he was frightened he gave no outward sign.

Klinger backed off but was poised to lunge like a snake awaiting its prey to come near enough for it to strike.

"Best not use that , Kl.." Charles began, indicating the rifle, before he dropped like a stone to his knees. Penobscott's fist had just made an acquaintance with one of his ribs.

"That's it!" growled Klinger ferociously, thrusting the barrel of his rifle into Penobscott's face.

"Klinger! Don't!" Charles bellowed attempting to lift himself from the ground.

Klinger rushed towards the Major and helped him up.

"Thank you, Max," he breathed gratefully, a small smile of gratitude on his face.

"Just a bit winded, Klinger. I'll be fine."

From the corner of his eye he noticed Penobscott smirk.

_Let the bastard have it. _

With swift reactions Charles rammed his fist into Penobscott's already wounded nose. Penobscott was about to retaliate, his blood boiling when Charles gripped his wrist and applied firm pressure to the point where the pulse is found and finally he twisted the General's wrist, the shooting pain it caused forced Penobscott to the ground, on his knees.

Moments later two genuine MPs appeared in place of Klinger's friends.

"General Penobscott, we have a warrant for your arrest," announced the taller of the two, a pale, red haired Canadian brandishing Sergeant's stripes on his arms.

"On what grounds?" growled Donald through gritted teeth, unsuccessfully attempting to hide that he was in pain.

"Two counts of threatening a fellow officer, one count of wounding a fellow officer, one count of perverting the course of justice, five counts of racism the most notable one against Major Hikaru Cho of the Japanese Army and one count of attempted rape of Lieutenant Nancy Gauge," the Korean MP read out the charges to Penobscott whose was now sullen.

After hearing the familiar name of Nurse Gauge, Klinger spat an array of colourful words at the accused while Charles considerably increased the pressure on his wrist, digging his nails into the rough skin of Donald Penobscott's arm.

_No wonder she was so quiet and listless when she came back from R&R in Tokyo! _thought Klinger as he recalled greeting her home from the airport and she only speaking a few words to him in return.

Penobscott opened his mouth to attempt to argue his case but before he could say anything out of nowhere came a voice both Klinger and Charles recognised.

"You thought you were untouchable, didn't you ? But the CIA knew that you were a traitor, we were just waiting for the right moment to lower the boom on you, General Penobscott if that _really _is your name!"

Out of the bushes, covered in war paint came Colonel Flagg brandishing a revolver in his right hand, a case file in his left and dark sun glasses covering his beady eyes.

"Thanks for the tip off, Corporal," Flagg acknowledged Klinger, stepping forward.

"But that doesn't mean the CIA are grateful for your help!" he raised his voice, wagging his finger and exchanging glances between Klinger and Charles.

"You can't prove I did any of that, Flagg," winced Penobscott, still under the vice like grip of Charles.

"The CIA can prove anything and if you're inclined to say anything else I'm entitled to…" began Flagg flipping through his small, leather bound notebook "…administer Chinese Water torture which is not actually Chinese those pinko, yellow reds stole it from us but you probably knew that already didn't you, comrade?"

Flagg thrust his face into Penobscott's projecting spit into his prey's eyes.

"Well, then Colonel you seem to have control of the situation, Corporal Klinger and I shall be off then," Charles stated causing Flagg to move away from the disadvantaged Penobscott.

"You bet your American bootstraps, Major. I'll have the report on this filthy urchin by tomorrow for your CO to sign and send to ICORPS," answered Flagg waggling his revolver at Charles and Klinger.

"Umm, best not involve the Colonel or anyone at 4077th in this. I'd like to remain anonymous, please. If need be mention yourself but leave Corporal Klinger and I out of this," Charles requested sounding almost as if he was begging Flagg.

"Alright, Winchester but because we're keeping you in the clear doesn't make you our allies, got it?!" growled the Colonel pushing his sunglasses further up his nose.

"Indeed, good day to you," Charles replied nodding curtly.

Although his mind wanted to leave his hand so badly wanted to crush Penobscott.

_Alright you can do it but just this once. _

At that moment all of Charles' strength moved into his fist and with one great squeeze a thunderous crack was heard and Penobscott cried out in pain. His wrist was shattered.

***

Klinger and Charles remained silent throughout their jeep ride back to camp. Klinger had many questions for Charles but he guessed by the blank expression on the taller man's face that he was in no mood for talking.

***

As soon as they reached the 4077th later that evening they parted quickly and headed for their respective beds.

Entering the Swamp Charles was met by an irate Hawkeye and an bemused BJ.

"So much for Winchester promises, ey?" growled Hawkeye jabbing his index finger into Charles' chest.

"Pierce, I apologize…" began Charles before he was cut across by Hawkeye.

"I'll never be able to get a present to my Dad on time now! Geez, Winchester I actually thought you'd become more human for once but once again your greed comes before anyone else!" Hawkeye raged onwards, BJ looked on helplessly.

"Now come on, Pierce.."

"We know Colonel Potter didn't phone. What did you get Klinger to do for you this time?!"

"Pierce…"

"Oh piss off, Frank!" Hawkeye spat out and shoved Charles to the floor.

"I am not Frank Burns!" Charles raised himself from the floor and drew to his full height like he did in front of Penobscott. Charles had heard all about the Idiot Frank Burns from just about everyone in the camp and to be called him was like being called a vile word.

Charles stormed out of the Swamp, his fractured ribs reminding him of their presence. His heart was pounding and his pulse was racing. Sweat poured from his brow and he began to splutter and cough. Holding his hand to his mouth to cover the germs he realised there was something very wrong. He'd coughed up blood.


End file.
